The key for any healer
is to be able to hold space for you while you are receiving the help that you
are searching for. ‘Holding space’ is a term that is used in the healing
community. What it means is
providing a safe, protective and loving atmosphere that one can be vulnerable
in during a healing session. When I am helping a client my structure of
holding space is based in complete presence for my client. I ground myself into the earth, open
up to the cosmic world and create an invocation that allows for whatever
healing needs to occur during a session. I leave my own ego and needs at the
door, and focus all of my energies on the client.
I believe that all of
us from one time or another have held space for someone dear in our
life. For instance, when a person gets married there is often a gathering
of people that are called together to witness the ceremony. Every person at the ceremony is there
to share in the experience, but most of all they are there to hold space in
this sacred event for the couple. All eyes and hearts are joined in the
witnessing of the monumental, yet very private, occasion.
Another example is
when a loved one passes on and there are funeral or memorial services that
people attend. Those who gather are not only there to pay respects to the
deceased but also to hold space for the family of the deceased; to bear witness
to another’s suffering. We all
instinctively know that at weddings and funerals, it’s not about us. And we
gladly put our own ideas and opinions aside for a moment to focus our energy on
those who need us.
Another important
though often overlooked way to hold space is to just listen to a friend or
family member that needs to vent. To
hold space in this situation is to be present and listen with complete empathy
and love as they let out whatever it is they need to. Often the best thing we
can do for another is not to offer our opinions or to turn the conversation
around to ourselves, but just to hold space for the other person to safely and
securely feel whatever it is they are feeling. By being there for them,
without judgment and without personal motive, the other person is often able to
come to their own resolution or conclusion themselves. They just needed a safe
space to hash it out. At the end of the conversation you may hear them say I
feel better, thank you for listening. Some of the great therapists will tell
you that they don’t actually get paid to talk or give advice, they get paid to
listen.
You may have
experienced that feeling of being there for another; when it is no longer about
you, and all of your energy is focused on supporting and uplifting another.
Those moments are when you are holding space. They are a gift.
The process of holding
space is something innate in all of us, and each time we do this we may feel
grateful, balanced and helpful on a very subtle level. The next time
someone asks if they can talk to you about something know that they are asking
you because when they talk to you they feel safe, protected and loved, as they
spill out everything that makes them vulnerable. To hold space for another is a
blessing to both the receiver and the giver. Eventually you may realize
you’re giving and receiving at the same time.
So when you go to a
healer and you feel safe, protected and loved you know that you are in the
right place to unwind whatever stress you may be holding onto. You are in
helping hands with a healer that can stay neutral and present with you throughout
your healing session. I am so grateful
for the many opportunities I have had to provide that space for my clients,
friends and loved ones.
I am interested in
hearing places you have held space for another in your life. The more of you that comment on this, the more
others will awaken to the times of great healing they have participated in in
their own lives.
For example, I am grateful for the opportunity I had to hold
space for my wife while she delivered our beautiful daughter. Never
in my life have I been more certain that what was happening was not about me,
and yet I knew my presence and energy was needed immensely.
Now it is your turn! Thank
you for participating.
a loved one hurting another loved one. That one is tough. Listening to both.
ReplyDeleteWhen my mother was passing away, my sisters and I held space for her and each other.
ReplyDeleteodc thank you for sharing, that really can be a tough one.
ReplyDeleteErma, thank you for sharing about your family. Holding space with your sisters for your mother and each other is as deep as it gets. I am sorry for your loss and I am grateful that you had each other through that time.
ReplyDeleteI am really humbled by this Holding Space, I've never heard of it. Many things, experiences, and memories are flooding in my memory. Thank you for posting this. I am pretty good with words and always feel I must give an advice or how I handled a similar situation, thinking I was helping. I will definitely change that pattern and just let others feelings flow. I am was inspired by the tranquil energy you maintain in a healing session. Thank You.
ReplyDeleteMalcolm, I am glad that these words have helped you. I am also grateful that you felt the process of holding space in our healing session.
ReplyDelete