Shark to Blood

Like a shark to blood is a good analogy of how ego is to pain. The shark has a keen sense that allows it to sniff out blood in the water. The shark can smell it from miles away and will pursue until it reaches its prey or loses the scent. The closer the blood trail, the easier it is for the shark to find the wounded prey.

Now let’s look at ego to pain. Using the same imagery, we can imagine that the ego is always swimming within each person, waiting for the pain to surface, be it physical or emotional pain. The pain puts out a scent that the ego can ‘smell’. Depending on the individuals overall well-being and balance, the ego is either miles away or very close to the pain. It may reach the surface quickly and boil over, or the pain may subside before the ego can even be called into action, or something in between.

If you are a person that is stressed, fatigued, angry, and lethargic or any other low vibrational state, then the ego is always circling close by, waiting for the emergence of pain. If you are decompressed, energized, light, calm, or any other high vibrational state, then the ego is miles away from the possible emergence of pain. In other words, the more balanced you are the less chance your ego has to take over. By the time the ego picks up the scent of the pain, the pain is healed or at the least you are in your right mind again, and you are no longer vulnerable prey.

Make no mistake about it—the ego is out to destroy you, just as the shark is out to kill its prey. It can and will make every vulnerable situation ten times worse, unless you are mindful. Arguments with loved ones, anger towards co-workers, parent/child altercations, sibling rivalry, fights between friends, road rage…all of these painful experiences can either be handled with love and tolerance or they can be ego-fueled, painful and hurtful experiences. And if your ego is not busy attacking others, it will just attack YOU. You will tell yourself that you are the dumb one, the worthless one, the problem.

Here is the good news; we can choose to look at the ego as something that is here FOR us. How do we do that?

Be mindful. Be present. Be aware. Some of the best ways to achieve these states of being are by creating outlets for yourself to decompress the stress, such as: having a meditation practice, being on a serious spiritual path, getting energy work done, practicing yoga, or reading spiritual literature. You have to do the work, consistently, and your spiritual self will be able to see what the ego is up to. Your mind will be in a state that allows you to see that rise in your blood pressure, and you will realize ‘oh, this is my ego right now that is going crazy. My ego wants me to send that email, or my ego wants me to say something that will really be a low-blow.’ And you will be able to censor yourself, to take a breath, and to be still until the urge passes.

When this is in place, the Spiritual mind will use the ego to grow and mature. You will find that each pain that you have is a gift to understand and grow as a human being. You will use the ego as a barometer of sorts, a healthy tool that furthers your understanding of your own triggers and weaknesses, and will help you achieve balance.

Reiki: Universal Life Force

Reiki is an alternative healing modality that is channeled from the practitioner to the patient to enhance energy and reduce stress, pain, anxiety and fatigue. Reiki is a Japanese word pronounced “ray-key” and it means ‘universal life force energy’. Traditionally, Reiki was discovered by Dr. Mikao Usui, a Japanese educator in the early 1900’s. Reiki came into the United States in the 1970’s.

It is believed that the recipients of a Reiki treatment can draw in healing powers from the practitioner’s laying of hands to help heal problems in the body. The relaxation allows for stress in the client to reduce significantly, thereby allowing the body to repair itself faster and easier. Reiki is used to assist the body in the healing process from illness, injury or even from the side effects of drug therapies. Reiki is also used to alleviate stress and enhance deeper states of consciousness.

Reiki is not a form of religious healing, which means almost anyone can learn the practice of Reiki, no matter your intellect, culture, or religion.  

Reiki is a simple modality that is first and foremost helping the person that just learned it. When you learn Reiki, you are giving yourself the gift of a conscious awakening within you.

Reiki comes in three classes; Reiki Level One, Reiki Level Two and Reiki Master. Reiki Level One gives you the background of Reiki, the ability to do Reiki and an invocation that opens up the energy centers in your body to allow the universal energy to flow through you effortlessly. You can do Reiki on yourself, family, pets, plants and friends.  

Once you learn Reiki Level One you can choose to come back and take Reiki Level Two. This class will give you symbols that were passed down from Reiki Master to Student which helps to focus the life force energy in a deeper way. You will also get another invocation for your energy centers which will infuse and support the symbols that are passed on to you.  

Reiki Master Class is for those that choose to gain all the knowledge of Reiki and want to get the last symbol and be able to teach Reiki to others.

I have been teaching Reiki for 13 years and I am going to teach my first Los Angeles Reiki Level One Class on Sunday, May 19^th from 10 to 4. If you are interested in taking this class please send me a message at todd@healingguy.com.  My classes are small and I only take 5 to 8 students per class. 

www.healingguy.com

 

Healthy Grieving

Over the past few weeks I have been finding death to be a theme in my conversations with friends and family. Each one of the people I have spoken with has been touched so deeply by the relationships they had and with the knowledge that the person they love has died and is not going to be here anymore. I felt inspired to write this based on my own death experiences and hope that this helps you somehow and in some way within your life.

Grieving is an emotional way to release and find balance in life about a situation of loss. If you do not grieve you will hold on to a person that has passed by not letting yourself go into that place inside you where healing can actually take place. If you do grieve you can unwind your pain and suffering around a person that has passed, simply by letting yourself go into that place inside.  

In my own experiences, I have been in both places with people that I loved who have passed. I’ve allowed the grieving to occur, and I’ve stifled it, subconsciously trying to hold on by not fully experiencing the loss. One example which is appropriate for this blog because of who this man was to me is the loss of my best friend, my hero and my grandfather, whose birthday is March 13^th and who has been gone from this plane for over 20 years. 

In the immediate time period following his death, there was a lot of grief that took place for me. But the grief was a holding on to, a resistance of reality, and a resentment of his absence. I experienced anger, pain, frustration, irritation and other lower vibrational emotions. I did not want to believe that my hero in life was not with me anymore, and I tried very hard not to accept it. For years I held on to this pain because I thought it was keeping him alive, when really it only was the illusion of keeping him alive.

As time moved on from my grandfather’s passing, I began to get healing work done and read some great books that helped me understand the process of grieving. I found that grieving in my body allowed for the tears and the sadness to flow through me like a river into an ocean. I sometimes grieved for over an hour with uncontrollable crying. What an intense process that was for me, because honestly I remember wondering if it would ever stop. 

But when I started to truly grieve, I realized that to be balanced with this loss, I had so many grieving’s to go, and there is no shortcut. I believe that we get a certain amount of grieving’s for each person that dies and it can be 10 or 50 or 500. And you just can’t cut it short, go around it, or avoid it. You must experience the sadness; you must cry every tear that needs to be cried, in order to fully process the loss and eventually to move on.

Another realization for me was that I began to understand that my grieving, in large part, was for the physical loss of who my grandfather was to me. I was grieving over the loss of his physical presence; the love I had for his physicality was a result of my beliefs that equated him with his body. I so loved the physical representation of him, because to me that was him, and I missed him terribly. Over the years I have continued to deepen my understanding that ‘he’ was not his body, and so even though his body is gone, his spirit and love are still present in my life.  

With my openness to feeling the pain I found peace in my heart and soul. I feel calm, balanced and alive remembering him and all of my angst, anger and pain have finally lifted. That’s not to say it doesn’t still hurt sometimes. I will always miss my grandfather…his body, his voice, his personality… and I wish I had another moment with him to share my life and what has evolved within it. For him to meet my beautiful wife whom I know he would have loved and for him to know my precious daughter who he would have went bananas for. Much of who I am today is a tribute to who he was for me. 

I have many clients that I work with to help them unwind and find peace with the deceased in their lives. The process of going into the grieving is not easy but it is doable, and it’s healthy. Each grieving is one step closer to peace and balance. You will never forget that person that touched your heart and soul, and nor would you want to. But when the pain is intense, you will be able to find a sacred place inside you… a well of love, peace and joy, that you can draw comfort from. You can feel grateful, knowing that they helped create this place because of who they were, for you, in this lifetime.

If you have someone that has touched your life that has passed, please give them a shout out and type their name in the comment section.

Thomas Monzo, my grandfather.  I miss you and love you very much.

www.healingguy.com

todd@healingguy.com

 

Energy Work: Going Beneath the Chatter

I've been writing these blogs for the last couple of months and I am so excited about the responses I have been getting. My purpose in writing is to get myself out there and to talk to people about the work that I do. I want to help as many people as possible, and I also want to educate people about what healing work is all about.

Today I want to break down what a healing session looks like so if you've never been, you can visualize what a session would be like and will perhaps feel inclined to begin the work for yourself.

The set up: the client (you) lies on the massage table fully clothed and covered by a sheet and blanket. The practitioner (yours truly) sets the space with an invocation which for me states that within this session may the highest of the high be experienced and realized in order to help this person decompress stresses of all kinds and go deeper into who they truly are.

The session: Guided by the scientific education of hands on therapies and spiritual intuition I listen to what is needed for the healing to take place. The journey is never the same for any two people, and rarely the same for one person from session to session. My intention is to help a client reboot and unwind in their session.

The client: a deepened state of consciousness sets in for the client and a journey into unbounded awareness starts to take place.

What is this all about?

Imagine an ocean from top to bottom. The waves on top are our thoughts, the constant chatter. This is where the external world all of us live in happens day in and day out, and is rarely given a chance to be quieted. Even in our dreams our minds are active, working out the stresses of our waking thoughts. The focus, organization and stress of what the mind takes in and puts out all day long is huge!

Everyday think about what you do....you wake up, and immediately your mind goes to what lies ahead for the day and all that you need to accomplish, usually before you are even out of bed. We get up, work out, eat breakfast, go to work, eat lunch, go back to work, go home, or go out with friends, eat dinner, watch TV, or work some more. Somewhere in there we take care of kids, we go on Facebook, we pay bills and plan for our future vacations, for our investments, and we try to maintain relationships with friends and family. At the end of the day we brush our teeth and go to bed, hopefully without the thoughts of the day keeping us up, only to get up and do it all over again. The routine is constant and some days are good while others feel bad. The difference between our good and bad days can often be attributed to our stress levels, and how we are dealing with those stresses.

Stress seeps in little by little (or a lot by a lot) and it seems never ending. Where does it go? Does it just disappear? No. Your body begins to break down little by little as these stresses accumulate.

The amazing thing is these thoughts, and these everyday stresses, are really just the surf of the ocean. These are the 5 to 10 percent usage of your mind that most of us live in. What many people don't know is that there is 90 to 95 percent more of our brain that is accessible to each and every one of us, and which takes us deeper into ourselves. When we unwind these stresses, we can more easily use more of our intellect and therefore more fully be who we are.

Diving into the massive ocean is where the juice is. This is where unbounded awareness lives and it can be yours for the price of...nothing. It's FREE! Yes it is FREE to look inside the self, to explore inside the self and to bathe in the beauty that exists in the self. When you go underneath the chatter, stress automatically starts to unwind and decompress. The vastness of your ocean is unlimited and accessible to you through different outlets.

One outlet is to meditate every day for at least 20 minutes a day (best results doing this twice a day).

Another outlet is to go see a healer that can help guide you into a deepened state, which allows you to heal the mind, body and spirit. If you become a consistent client each session will take you into a healthier place.

And this is what healing work is all about. Going beneath the noise, to the source of your pure intelligence, creativity, light and Oneness with all living things. It is my purpose in life to do this work. I would be honored to assist you on your journey towards a stress-free existence.

Please contact me, as always, with any questions or comments. Feel free to comment on the blog if you have experienced energy work yourself and want to share what your experience was like. And thank you for reading.

www.healingguy.com

todd@healingguy.com

Holding Space: You do it more then you think

For the next series of blogs I am going to write about the process of receiving energy work. I am sure that many of you have gone to a healer or energy worker, and I am sure that many of you never have! My practice is in Los Angeles, but wherever you live there are healers that can help you if you are searching or interested in trying this type of work. Here are some basics you might want to know.

The key for any healer is to be able to hold space for you while you are receiving the help that you are searching for. ‘Holding space’ is a term that is used in the healing community. What it means is providing a safe, protective and loving atmosphere that one can be vulnerable in during a healing session. When I am helping a client my structure of holding space is based in complete presence for my client. I ground myself into the earth, open up to the cosmic world and create an invocation that allows for whatever healing needs to occur during a session. I leave my own ego and needs at the door, and focus all of my energies on the client.  

I believe that all of us from one time or another have held space for someone dear in our life. For instance, when a person gets married there is often a gathering of people that are called together to witness the ceremony. Every person at the ceremony is there to share in the experience, but most of all they are there to hold space in this sacred event for the couple. All eyes and hearts are joined in the witnessing of the monumental, yet very private, occasion.

Another example is when a loved one passes on and there are funeral or memorial services that people attend. Those who gather are not only there to pay respects to the deceased but also to hold space for the family of the deceased; to bear witness to another’s suffering. We all instinctively know that at weddings and funerals, it’s not about us. And we gladly put our own ideas and opinions aside for a moment to focus our energy on those who need us.

Another important though often overlooked way to hold space is to just listen to a friend or family member that needs to vent. To hold space in this situation is to be present and listen with complete empathy and love as they let out whatever it is they need to. Often the best thing we can do for another is not to offer our opinions or to turn the conversation around to ourselves, but just to hold space for the other person to safely and securely feel whatever it is they are feeling. By being there for them, without judgment and without personal motive, the other person is often able to come to their own resolution or conclusion themselves. They just needed a safe space to hash it out. At the end of the conversation you may hear them say I feel better, thank you for listening. Some of the great therapists will tell you that they don’t actually get paid to talk or give advice, they get paid to listen.

You may have experienced that feeling of being there for another; when it is no longer about you, and all of your energy is focused on supporting and uplifting another. Those moments are when you are holding space. They are a gift. 

The process of holding space is something innate in all of us, and each time we do this we may feel grateful, balanced and helpful on a very subtle level. The next time someone asks if they can talk to you about something know that they are asking you because when they talk to you they feel safe, protected and loved, as they spill out everything that makes them vulnerable. To hold space for another is a blessing to both the receiver and the giver. Eventually you may realize you’re giving and receiving at the same time.

So when you go to a healer and you feel safe, protected and loved you know that you are in the right place to unwind whatever stress you may be holding onto. You are in helping hands with a healer that can stay neutral and present with you throughout your healing session. I am so grateful for the many opportunities I have had to provide that space for my clients, friends and loved ones.

I am interested in hearing places you have held space for another in your life.  The more of you that comment on this, the more others will awaken to the times of great healing they have participated in in their own lives. 

For example, I am grateful for the opportunity I had to hold space for my wife while she delivered our beautiful daughter. Never in my life have I been more certain that what was happening was not about me, and yet I knew my presence and energy was needed immensely.

Now it is your turn! Thank you for participating.

www.healingguy.com

todd@healingguy.com

 

Stress and Meditation (yes, you can do it!)

In our daily life we are constantly dealing with stress, and that stress settles in our bodies. It makes us reactive, antsy, irritable, and depressed and often is the reason people look to outside sources for relief (i.e. drugs, alcohol, tobacco, etc.). Stress can come in great and amazing moments in our life and it can arise in dysfunctional, heart wrenching moments. From winning the lottery or getting a new job, to having a romantic relationship dissolve or being cut off in traffic, we are constantly engaged in stresses. Most people just take it in and live with it until they die. They wonder why they can’t sleep, or why they are gaining weight, or why their back hurts. Stresses accumulate one by one and plant themselves in the body. This is an ongoing process that somewhere in a person’s life will eventually manifest into some kind of physical struggle, disease or discomfort. That tense neck, the stomach ache, the heart disease…they are all manifestations of stress. No wonder we spend billions of dollars a year on pharmaceuticals that are supposed to help relieve us of stress and all of its symptoms.

Think of stress in the body like a knot in a string. The knot shortens the string, or constricts it, and takes away its natural, expansive state. It is no longer loose and flowing with the length that it originally had. To unwind the knot will allow it to go back to its natural state. The same thing is true in a person’s body with the knots of stress. We just keep adding more and more knots, and spend very little time unraveling them. But you know all of this; you know the very real effects of stress on your body, and you’d probably like to live with less of it, right?

To unwind these stresses one has to have the motivation and tools to dissolve the knots and return to our natural born right to be expansive and healthy in this world. Diluting stress can be challenging without tools to transcend. So how does one dilute and neutralize stress?

Meditation. Yes, meditation is my answer. I know, I know! You’ve tried it and it doesn’t work, or it’s just not for you. The work I do in my private practice as a multi-dimensional therapist is based in the principals of wellness for the whole person. I work with my clients to identify what in their lives is constricting them emotionally and mentally, and we often are able to relieve the physical pains they are in by a combination of talking and hands on energy work. When I use Craniosacral Therapy and energy work on the table, the client is able to transcend into a deeper state of relaxation and consciousness, which helps ‘seal in’ the work we do verbally sitting in chairs. They enter into a meditative state while I am working on them. When my clients get off the table, they typically feel a deep sense of peace and inner relaxation. I wish they could all see me every day, but the reality is we all need to have tools to achieve this state in our day to day lives. I always tell my clients the key to holding on to those feelings and continuing the healing work we begin in my office is meditation.

I am continually impressed by the resistance people have to meditation. We’ve all heard by now about the benefits meditation provides, but people have such a hard time with the notion of sitting for any length of time and not doing anything, and not thinking anything. It seems to be an almost impossible task with the rate at which our monkey minds produce thoughts. And you know what? It is almost impossible! So rather than fight the thoughts, let’s incorporate them.

My wife and I recently visited our local Transcendental Meditation Center, received the instruction, and have begun our journey of practicing this thousands of years old meditation. I believe there are many ways to meditate, but I am excited by the simplicity and ease this practice provides, and I am already seeing the benefits after one week.

Transcendental Meditation, or TM, is an art of inner sound and natural thoughts. The process works together to help stress unwind in the body. To use a sound, or a mantra, allows you to deepen into yourself and then as you find yourself relaxing you will experience thoughts, which is natural and perfectly fine. You don’t fight the thoughts. You just let them come! The thoughts are usually meaningless to your mind, but to your stress they are as precious as gold. Every thought generated will magnetize stress knots within you and unravel them as the thoughts are allowed to occur. As the thoughts and stresses are released, your mind returns to the mantra and you will deepen the relaxation in your body even further. This cycle will happen over and over as needed and you will find yourself in a higher state of consciousness, and deeply rejuvenated, when you reenter the present world in which you live. It’s that easy!

I know you’re busy, and the thought of sitting for 20 minutes seems stressful in and of itself. But to unwind the stress one has to journey inward. You must begin the process of finding bliss within in order to have bliss in the world. Meditation allows you to transform the stresses and dissolve them from your being. What better way to spend 20 minutes. It will make you more productive, efficient, alert, and creative in your life.

As I said, there are many ways to meditate but having a serious mediation practice is key to the unwinding of your stress knots, and therefore to living a healthy and balanced life.  Your body and your mind will thank you for the respite. It is truly like plugging yourself into a charger twice a day. You feel fully rested, centered and calm.

To learn more look up a Transcendental Meditation Center near you, or come see me. And as always, thanks for reading and please feel free to comment or email me. Happy Meditating!

www.healingguy.com

todd@healingguy.com

What do you do when a Gun's pointed at you?

In the last blog we talked about three ways to climb the emotional ladder:

1)      What anyone says about you is none of your business

2)      Don’t take things personally

3)      Pray for someone that you fear, are upset with or angry with

These are very important tools to stay in a healthy space within yourself and make your interactions with other people much easier and pleasant.

Now I want to talk about the most important tool, which when used over and over again within situations that keep you in the lower rungs of the emotional ladder, will allow you to live at the peak of your existence here on the planet. What am I talking about? Well it is called forgiveness. 

Forgiveness is the most highly decorated tool that anyone can use and the most forgotten tool in our society.

There are two ways to use forgiveness; one is to forgive another and the other is to forgive you. When you hold a grudge or think of yourself as a victim you will find that you are wasting energy. You may think that you have been wronged and in turn have feelings of anger, irritation, frustration or sadness. The energy used to stay in these emotions is heavy and painful to you and you alone. 

You may spend time trying to talk to people you know about how you have been wronged, wanting them to join you and tell you that is not fair and take your side so that they can help you carry the burden. But even if they take your side it will not help you because they cannot remove the pain you are feeling. If you decide not to talk about it, and just hold onto being wronged silently, you will find yourself in the same trap of pain because you are sitting on a low emotional rung of the ladder, and thus living at a lower vibration. The irony is that this pain you feel is from a story…a story that you continue to tell yourself and re-live over and over again. It is based in the past, it’s not even happening anymore, but you continue to live it because you choose to live from that one moment in time. The longer you hold onto the wrong, the past, the story…the lower down the emotional ladder you go.

So how do you detach from the story and find yourself back in the present? I am going to tell you an intimate story about myself so that you can see how forgiveness has worked in my life. When I was about 6 years old my mother was dating a very dysfunctional man who had a lot of anger, a lot of the time. One night as I rode in the car with my mother we realized we were being followed. The car following us got in front of us and forced our car to stop by blocking the road. We knew it was him, and we knew we were alone in the woods, just our car and his. He came over to our car and by the look of things he was pretty drunk and very angry. The first thing he did was to take the keys out of the car and throw them into the woods. My mom told me to stay in the car as she got out to try to talk to him. He was violent with her and then he got back in his car and drove away. My mom went into the woods to look for the keys but could not find them. He came back again and proceeded to do the same thing to my mom and then left again. He returned yet a third time to find me and my mom looking for the keys in the woods. We both ran back to our car and before my mom could shut the door he stopped her and screamed at her.

This is the part in my ‘story’ that is really bad. There was a gun in our back seat (I believe it was a 22 that actually belonged to him that my mother didn’t even know was there) and he picked it up and pointed it at my mother and then at me. He was saying things like “What are you going to do Todd? You think you’re a man, so what are you going to do?” as I looked down the barrel. I began to cry hard and he kept up his remarks a little longer. He left again, and another car was driving past us and they stopped. We got in their car, and though he did come back, the person that picked us up drove away and we were finally free from the situation.

This story stayed with me and I lived with it for years to come. I would say that not until my early 30’s did I finally neutralize the story and find peace with it. The first step to finding peace was that I forgave him for his actions, deep within my heart and soul. I realized that he did not understand or know what he was doing to my mother and me. I meditated. I saw him in a bright light and connected with him spirit to spirit. I told him within my meditation “I forgive you and hope that you find peace in this life”. It turns out this was actually the easy part of my forgiveness.

My next act of forgiveness was to forgive myself.  I know I did nothing wrong within this story, for I was only a 6 year old child. But what I had to forgive myself for was holding onto the anger, sadness, pain, suffering and resentment I had towards this man. I had been holding onto these feelings, thereby keeping myself in a lower vibration, for over 25 years!

I realized that many of my experiences in life were based in this story. My feelings towards other people and myself were tainted by living in the past…in this story of fear and anger and victimization.  When I realized that I did not have to live in this story and forgave myself for not realizing it sooner, there was a shift in my energy that allowed me to live in a higher vibration, or on a higher rung of the emotional ladder. I found love and gratitude towards myself and towards him. Once I forgave myself for holding on to all that pain and all that time, peace has truly been my present.

This is not to say that once you find peace and forgiveness, your work is done. It is something that I must continually call upon, from the smallest grievance to something more profound for me, like the story I just shared with you. The littlest things can eat us up and lower our vibration. I try to have a deep appreciation for all that comes into my life, knowing that through forgiveness, I will find new ways to love others and myself.

Forgiveness is a blessing that anyone can give to another and in so doing, give it to themself. It is the gateway to fulfillment because when you stop living in the past, you are able to live in the present.  Ask yourself, who have you not forgiven? What story or stories are you holding on to?

Please leave comments or email me if you have questions. 

www.healingguy.com

todd@healingguy.com
 

 

The Emotional Ladder

Let’s continue our discussion of the emotional ladder. As I described in my last blog, some of the basic emotions that we can all identify with are love, joy, excitement, peace, contentment, boredom, irritation, frustration, anger, depression and many others that fall in between any two of these emotions. If you can visualize this emotional ladder we can take it a bit further. Emotions are based in vibration which means that the higher up you go on the emotional ladder the higher the vibration you are living in and vice a versa.

 

How can you tell if you are living in a high vibration or a low vibration? When living in a high vibration you will find that you are present, or another way of saying this is that you are in the moment. You are more apt to experience the pleasures in life. The feelings you get when you see a beautiful sunset, or enjoy an intimate conversation with your romantic partner, a mother having a baby being placed in her arms for the first time or even watching your favorite sports team win the championship. You are able to experience these moments and feel completely satisfied, and even blissful.

 

When living in a low vibration you find that you are tied to the past or future, or another way of saying this is that you are unconscious. Feelings of stress, resentment, discontentment, disappointment…the rise of anger you might feel in an argument, or when you lose your job, or when you feel you have been wronged or treated unfairly, or you are cut off while driving. In these moments, we have a choice as to whether we react unconsciously or respond from a place of peace and high vibration. If you often find yourself upset and feeling out of control emotionally, chances are you are spending time in a lower vibration.

 

Here are some ways to climb the emotional ladder and allow you to stay in the conscious, present and high vibrational space within your emotional body.

 

First, try to remember that what others say or think about you is none of your business. When you are able to stay in this frame of mind you will find that even the worst of words spoken towards you cannot take you out of your high emotional state. The process that I use in these situations is that anyone that has a negative remark of me, I will pretend that I am a mirror and that these words are reflecting back to them and that these words are their responsibility, not mine. This is very grounding to me and helps me to not get triggered. The only thing I am responsible for is myself…my own words, thoughts and actions. By remembering that another’s energy and thoughts are their business, not mine, I am able to remain in a high vibration most of the time.

 

Another way to climb the emotional ladder is to not take anything personally. This goes hand and hand that what people say is none of my business. There have been many occasions in my life that personal attacks have been thrusted upon me, only to realize that what is being said to me is not about me. Even if it is a close loved one I try to remember that what they are saying is not my responsibility and that they are hurting in some way. I know if I can stay present by not taking what they say personally then the situation will be decompressed and diffused in a matter of minutes. I also know from experience that if I compromise the situation, or succumb to the attack and reinforce it with my own beliefs that it is real, i.e. by taking what they say personally, it will be a long road of low vibrations which will make my life a living hell.

 

Another way to climb the emotional ladder is to pray for a person that I may fear, am upset or angry with. The words that I use in this situation are “I pray for help and health for so and so.” This immediately alchemizes the situation.

Here is an example: when I lived in NY I had a client that ended up in the hospital. She was about 80 at the time and had her daughter call me to see if I would come to the hospital to work on her. I said yes and that day came to see her at the hospital. We talked for a bit and I told her what I wanted to do and she agreed. As I was working on her the primary physician came into the room. His first reaction was one of distrust and suspicion. He demanded to know what I was doing. I told him that she asked me to come in to help her and so I did.

 

Long story short is that he kicked me out. At first this made me angry and upset, and it also made my client upset as well. As I was driving home I realized that I was living in the past already because all I could do was think about the conversation I had with that doctor. So I began to pray for help and health for the doctor. I said it over and over and over for quite a while. I finally found that I was in a higher vibrational state and went on with my day. By praying for the doctor, my anger had dissipated and my judgment of his judgment of me was gone. The next day at my office I got a phone call from the doctor. He asked me a few questions and after answering them he said that I could come back and work with my client.

 

There were two ways of dealing with this situation; being present and sending loving thoughts to the doctor and the situation, or taking it personally and living in the past and thinking mean and angry thoughts about the doctor and the hospital system. By not projecting judgmental thoughts about the system I was allowed to live in a high vibration and be a present and conscious person even in a chaotic situation. I am grateful that I had that conscious awareness to do this. Prayer allows me to live in a higher frequency because I am present within myself and therefore at peace with any situation that may be uncomfortable. I am not focused on the negative; I am focused on the light and beauty of the situation. I know when I pray for another I am also praying for me, because we are all connected. Prayer can change any situation into a great one.

 

So to sum up, to stay in a higher vibrational frequency on the emotional ladder try these three things:

    1) What anyone says about you is none of your business

    2) Don’t take things personally

    3) Pray for someone that you fear, are upset or angry with

I have one more way to climb the emotional ladder that I would like to share, but I will discuss this in my next blog! Thanks for reading and please feel free to share, or contact me with any questions or comments you may have.

Emotional Body

In previous blogs, I have written about my work and how I focus on healing the 'whole person'. The whole person is a synergistic combination of bodies which include the spiritual, emotional, mental and physical bodies. I have gone into some detail about the spiritual body. Today I am excited to talk to you about the emotional body.

 

The emotional body can be a very sensitive topic. It is within this body that our ego resides. I like to think that all of our emotions are contained within an emotional ladder. Some of the basic emotions are love, joy, excitement, peace, contentment, boredom, irritation, frustration, anger, depression and many others that fall in between any two of these emotions. Imagine this list in a vertical line with love on top and depression on the bottom; this is a visualization of the emotional ladder. Each emotion can be looked at as a vibrational frequency, just like when you tune into your favorite radio station. At any moment you may find yourself tuning into any one of these emotions based on your daily activities; your reactions to others, your own successes or disappointments, traffic, welcome or unwelcome news, etc.

 

How to maintain any one of these emotions is based on your ability and desire to be a conscious human being. The more conscious you are the easier it is to keep your vibration at the higher end of the emotional ladder. Based on information that I have blogged about in the past you can use the spiritual foundation tools to help stabilize yourself which will allow you to maintain a high vibrational frequency within your emotional state. The journey of emotions is an ongoing process. To have a way to unwind the lower emotions and maintain the higher emotions can be very helpful to you and your loved ones.

 

Emotions are shown by your feelings and how you treat yourself and the ones you surround yourself with. We all know that people close to us have the subconscious tools to trigger us or comfort us. Just think of your parents, your spouse or your children and then think of a past situation that triggered you. You may come up with more than one if not many situations. Remember how fast and unconscious you were in that moment or situation that took you into a spinning frenzy of pain and knots, also known as a low vibrational frequency. It's as if you tuned into a radio station that plays only music which sounds like nails across a chalkboard.

 

Now think of times when those same people comforted you. You may come up with more than one, if not many, moments and situations. Remember how present and conscious you were in those situations; the kind word, the deep connection when you look into the eyes of a loved one, the warm hug, the spontaneous laughter... these experiences take you into an unwavering high vibrational frequency. It is like tuning into that radio station that only plays an enchanting chorus of your favorite music.

 

In the next couple blogs I will go into more detail about the Emotional Ladder and ways to help you climb it and maintain a level of high vibrational frequencies that you deserve to live in. The Emotional Body is a very real part of who you are, and if we look closely at it and identify where we want to reside on the ladder, we can come closer to reaching the highest rungs more often and leave the lower rungs in the far distant past.

 

Active Listening

The third tool in spiritual foundation is Active Listening. Active listening is an ongoing watchfulness of self while another is communicating with you. The idea and goal of this is to refrain from thinking about what you want to say while another is talking to you. If you are thinking while another is communicating you are not giving your total attention to that person. The less you are thinking the more you are listening, and that is a true gift to any conversation.

I have found that when a person has fully communicated what they are saying to me that if I can sum up and repeat back to them what they have said it is truly a gift that I am giving back. A person completely heard is completely fulfilled. This also allows me to be completely present with another. I feel grounded and connected to the person I am communicating with. The art of listening can go a long way in small talk and in deep conversation with a loved one.

Have you ever been so excited and connected to someone that all you want to do is hear what they have to say and be present with them? Then as time goes on you find that your love to hear what they have to say becomes overrun by your need to speak? Eventually, you begin to shut them out, and they feel unheard and unappreciated.

When I am fully committed to listening; not speaking what I think is important to the conversation (which would most likely make me interrupt the conversation in the name of my ego), I find that what I had to say would have turned a deep connection into a frustrating and irritating experience. This will manifest a separation between me and my conversation partner. If I continue to act like I am listening only to make my point when I find the right spot, eventually my conversations with this person will grow stale and complicated. When I am truly open to what the other person is saying, there is no way to predict what my response will be, if any.

A great book to read to further your understanding of this is Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. You can also find schools that offer classes on this way of communicating. Try to think about it the next time you are in a conversation...you will find that if you begin to communicate this way your relationships will become more meaningful and you will feel present within each and every one of them. This is a true gift to you and to those around you.