Holding Space: You do it more then you think

For the next series of blogs I am going to write about the process of receiving energy work. I am sure that many of you have gone to a healer or energy worker, and I am sure that many of you never have! My practice is in Los Angeles, but wherever you live there are healers that can help you if you are searching or interested in trying this type of work. Here are some basics you might want to know.

The key for any healer is to be able to hold space for you while you are receiving the help that you are searching for. ‘Holding space’ is a term that is used in the healing community. What it means is providing a safe, protective and loving atmosphere that one can be vulnerable in during a healing session. When I am helping a client my structure of holding space is based in complete presence for my client. I ground myself into the earth, open up to the cosmic world and create an invocation that allows for whatever healing needs to occur during a session. I leave my own ego and needs at the door, and focus all of my energies on the client.  

I believe that all of us from one time or another have held space for someone dear in our life. For instance, when a person gets married there is often a gathering of people that are called together to witness the ceremony. Every person at the ceremony is there to share in the experience, but most of all they are there to hold space in this sacred event for the couple. All eyes and hearts are joined in the witnessing of the monumental, yet very private, occasion.

Another example is when a loved one passes on and there are funeral or memorial services that people attend. Those who gather are not only there to pay respects to the deceased but also to hold space for the family of the deceased; to bear witness to another’s suffering. We all instinctively know that at weddings and funerals, it’s not about us. And we gladly put our own ideas and opinions aside for a moment to focus our energy on those who need us.

Another important though often overlooked way to hold space is to just listen to a friend or family member that needs to vent. To hold space in this situation is to be present and listen with complete empathy and love as they let out whatever it is they need to. Often the best thing we can do for another is not to offer our opinions or to turn the conversation around to ourselves, but just to hold space for the other person to safely and securely feel whatever it is they are feeling. By being there for them, without judgment and without personal motive, the other person is often able to come to their own resolution or conclusion themselves. They just needed a safe space to hash it out. At the end of the conversation you may hear them say I feel better, thank you for listening. Some of the great therapists will tell you that they don’t actually get paid to talk or give advice, they get paid to listen.

You may have experienced that feeling of being there for another; when it is no longer about you, and all of your energy is focused on supporting and uplifting another. Those moments are when you are holding space. They are a gift. 

The process of holding space is something innate in all of us, and each time we do this we may feel grateful, balanced and helpful on a very subtle level. The next time someone asks if they can talk to you about something know that they are asking you because when they talk to you they feel safe, protected and loved, as they spill out everything that makes them vulnerable. To hold space for another is a blessing to both the receiver and the giver. Eventually you may realize you’re giving and receiving at the same time.

So when you go to a healer and you feel safe, protected and loved you know that you are in the right place to unwind whatever stress you may be holding onto. You are in helping hands with a healer that can stay neutral and present with you throughout your healing session. I am so grateful for the many opportunities I have had to provide that space for my clients, friends and loved ones.

I am interested in hearing places you have held space for another in your life.  The more of you that comment on this, the more others will awaken to the times of great healing they have participated in in their own lives. 

For example, I am grateful for the opportunity I had to hold space for my wife while she delivered our beautiful daughter. Never in my life have I been more certain that what was happening was not about me, and yet I knew my presence and energy was needed immensely.

Now it is your turn! Thank you for participating.

www.healingguy.com

todd@healingguy.com

 

Stress and Meditation (yes, you can do it!)

In our daily life we are constantly dealing with stress, and that stress settles in our bodies. It makes us reactive, antsy, irritable, and depressed and often is the reason people look to outside sources for relief (i.e. drugs, alcohol, tobacco, etc.). Stress can come in great and amazing moments in our life and it can arise in dysfunctional, heart wrenching moments. From winning the lottery or getting a new job, to having a romantic relationship dissolve or being cut off in traffic, we are constantly engaged in stresses. Most people just take it in and live with it until they die. They wonder why they can’t sleep, or why they are gaining weight, or why their back hurts. Stresses accumulate one by one and plant themselves in the body. This is an ongoing process that somewhere in a person’s life will eventually manifest into some kind of physical struggle, disease or discomfort. That tense neck, the stomach ache, the heart disease…they are all manifestations of stress. No wonder we spend billions of dollars a year on pharmaceuticals that are supposed to help relieve us of stress and all of its symptoms.

Think of stress in the body like a knot in a string. The knot shortens the string, or constricts it, and takes away its natural, expansive state. It is no longer loose and flowing with the length that it originally had. To unwind the knot will allow it to go back to its natural state. The same thing is true in a person’s body with the knots of stress. We just keep adding more and more knots, and spend very little time unraveling them. But you know all of this; you know the very real effects of stress on your body, and you’d probably like to live with less of it, right?

To unwind these stresses one has to have the motivation and tools to dissolve the knots and return to our natural born right to be expansive and healthy in this world. Diluting stress can be challenging without tools to transcend. So how does one dilute and neutralize stress?

Meditation. Yes, meditation is my answer. I know, I know! You’ve tried it and it doesn’t work, or it’s just not for you. The work I do in my private practice as a multi-dimensional therapist is based in the principals of wellness for the whole person. I work with my clients to identify what in their lives is constricting them emotionally and mentally, and we often are able to relieve the physical pains they are in by a combination of talking and hands on energy work. When I use Craniosacral Therapy and energy work on the table, the client is able to transcend into a deeper state of relaxation and consciousness, which helps ‘seal in’ the work we do verbally sitting in chairs. They enter into a meditative state while I am working on them. When my clients get off the table, they typically feel a deep sense of peace and inner relaxation. I wish they could all see me every day, but the reality is we all need to have tools to achieve this state in our day to day lives. I always tell my clients the key to holding on to those feelings and continuing the healing work we begin in my office is meditation.

I am continually impressed by the resistance people have to meditation. We’ve all heard by now about the benefits meditation provides, but people have such a hard time with the notion of sitting for any length of time and not doing anything, and not thinking anything. It seems to be an almost impossible task with the rate at which our monkey minds produce thoughts. And you know what? It is almost impossible! So rather than fight the thoughts, let’s incorporate them.

My wife and I recently visited our local Transcendental Meditation Center, received the instruction, and have begun our journey of practicing this thousands of years old meditation. I believe there are many ways to meditate, but I am excited by the simplicity and ease this practice provides, and I am already seeing the benefits after one week.

Transcendental Meditation, or TM, is an art of inner sound and natural thoughts. The process works together to help stress unwind in the body. To use a sound, or a mantra, allows you to deepen into yourself and then as you find yourself relaxing you will experience thoughts, which is natural and perfectly fine. You don’t fight the thoughts. You just let them come! The thoughts are usually meaningless to your mind, but to your stress they are as precious as gold. Every thought generated will magnetize stress knots within you and unravel them as the thoughts are allowed to occur. As the thoughts and stresses are released, your mind returns to the mantra and you will deepen the relaxation in your body even further. This cycle will happen over and over as needed and you will find yourself in a higher state of consciousness, and deeply rejuvenated, when you reenter the present world in which you live. It’s that easy!

I know you’re busy, and the thought of sitting for 20 minutes seems stressful in and of itself. But to unwind the stress one has to journey inward. You must begin the process of finding bliss within in order to have bliss in the world. Meditation allows you to transform the stresses and dissolve them from your being. What better way to spend 20 minutes. It will make you more productive, efficient, alert, and creative in your life.

As I said, there are many ways to meditate but having a serious mediation practice is key to the unwinding of your stress knots, and therefore to living a healthy and balanced life.  Your body and your mind will thank you for the respite. It is truly like plugging yourself into a charger twice a day. You feel fully rested, centered and calm.

To learn more look up a Transcendental Meditation Center near you, or come see me. And as always, thanks for reading and please feel free to comment or email me. Happy Meditating!

www.healingguy.com

todd@healingguy.com